I took a duet lesson sometime
ago. I must have been terribly young I suppose, but much excited about everything. It was one of those curiosity things, I love to do when my life seemed
quiet.
I chose the song. It was a beautiful countryside song—those kinda
songs you’d love to sing on a field carved around
the edges with a centre tree or on the balcony of a house, watching your duo
from a distance edge taking the lead and walking towards you in a like fashion.
In my case, we sang a duet in an old furnished uncompleted house with the centre
stage surrounded by household pots and pail-buckets filled with filthy water. My partner took the lead. He started the song beautifully but I picked up on the wrong note with an expressionless face; pitching too high and was almost falling over the edge, when he recalled. But I
remember finishing the song on the note, “Oh my God! What a jam? He called it, “the pitchy patchy imperfect solo”.
Solo! I said. Solo!! I screamed.
That was a duet! I seem to be reminding him
all of a sudden. He turned back and replied, “That was a solo”. I thought he
was just being hard on me. How else will a teenage girl think, especially, with
a pretty impatient and harsh instructor? What a long adjective, you’d
say? But that would be the perfect description of a face with a smug—that kinda
looks that summarizes things, even before it began. I felt jumpy and thought I sounded
terribly bad but to my amazement, he said, “That’s not the point!” "You sounded
amazing but you were singing alone." He added, "It's supposed to be a duet, remember!" That was pretty pitchy patchy lesson for a
life time.
Over the years, I've learnt to
see duet beyond the classical opposite sexes singing a love song. It isn't the
classified art to prove that I can sing better, my voice is stronger, I am the
lady in this shoe or I must be heard. It is two voices singing as one, two
hearts melting into shape and not harmony fighting for space.
My point today is that relationships
are like duet. Irrespective of the main
theme—marriage, friendship, courtship, or platonic; it is about two persons.
It is not breathing in so close into each other’s nostrils or holding each
other’s heart that determines the harmonic rhythm. It is not a game to impress
or have it so idealistically perfect that holds it up. It's about open communication, the key to healthy relationships.
A duet begins with a song; communication begins with a
word. Duet takes two; relationship takes two to tangle. It is an art that needs to be learnt, a trade you can’t avoid. It requires the art of listening, acknowledgement, eye contact and body
language. With duet, you listen, so that you do not miss your cue. With relationship, you listen so that you do not miss the point.
Duet
without communication is like talking without words or expression. Relationship is not endless repeating of
words or a one sided perpetual talking or silence, as my loved one would call
it, “monosyllabic replies”. It is purposefully making a point and considerably
listening and understanding the other. With duet, it is not advisable
to copy anyone else, in order to be comfortable. In relationship, if you and your partner are comfortable with each other,
it will show. Don't make a pitchy patchy mess of your relationship. The Christian rule: Talk it out in love! & listen twice as
much!